Monday, September 04, 2006

Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I knowwhere my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotchwhen I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entireroom for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and changethe channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course itis. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do peopledo this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". Notosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fuckingfloor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me achoice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longestdamn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus comeyet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. Sowhat did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' Noit's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's animage I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don'tinsert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll havea McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

1 comment:

Janhvi said...

3,7 and 13 are epic!