Washington:
Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address
OBAMA: My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land and a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America and they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted and for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things and some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions and that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act and not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions and who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them and that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works and whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account and to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day and because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control and and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart and not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort and even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus and and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West and know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment and a moment that will define a generation and it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends and hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism and these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility and a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence and the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed and why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Recession Inside; Thinkin Outside

A nice story on taking initiative and thinking out of the box
Ø Employee "A" in a company walked up to his manager and asked what my job is for the day?
Ø The manager took "A" to the bank of a river and asked him to cross the river and reach the other side of the bank.
Ø "A" completed this task successfully and reported back to the manager about the completion of the task assigned. The manager smiled and said "GOOD JOB"
Next day Employee "B" reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task as above to this person also.
Ø The Employee "B' before starting the task saw Employee "C" struggling in the river to reach the other side of the bank. He realized "C" has the same task.
Ø Now "B" not only crossed the river but also helped "C" to cross the river.
Ø "B" reported back to the manager and the manager smiled and said "VERY GOOD JOB"
The following day Employee "Q" reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.
Ø Employee "Q" before starting the work did some home work and realized "A", "B" & "C" all has done this task before. He met them and understood how they performed.
Ø He realized that there is a need for a guide and training for doing this task.
Ø He sat first and wrote down the procedure for crossing the river, he documented the common mistakes people made, and tricks to do the task efficiently and effortlessly.
Ø Using the methodology he had written down he crossed the river and reported back to the manager along with documented procedure and training material.
Ø The manger said "Q" you have done an "EXCELLENT JOB".
The following day Employee "O' reported to the manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.
"O" studied the procedure written down by "Q" and sat and thought about the whole task.
He realized company is spending lot of money in getting this task completed. He decided not to cross the river, but sat and designed and implemented a bridge across the river and went back to his manager and said, "You no longer need to assign this task to any one".
The manager smiled and said "Outstanding job 'O'. I am very proud of you."
Ø Employee "Q" before starting the work did some home work and realized "A", "B" & "C" all has done this task before. He met them and understood how they performed.
Ø He realized that there is a need for a guide and training for doing this task.
Ø He sat first and wrote down the procedure for crossing the river, he documented the common mistakes people made, and tricks to do the task efficiently and effortlessly.
Ø Using the methodology he had written down he crossed the river and reported back to the manager along with documented procedure and training material.
Ø The manger said "Q" you have done an "EXCELLENT JOB".
The following day Employee "O' reported to the manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.
"O" studied the procedure written down by "Q" and sat and thought about the whole task.
He realized company is spending lot of money in getting this task completed. He decided not to cross the river, but sat and designed and implemented a bridge across the river and went back to his manager and said, "You no longer need to assign this task to any one".
The manager smiled and said "Outstanding job 'O'. I am very proud of you."
What is the difference between A, B, Q & O????????
Many a times in life we get tasks to be done at home, at office, at play.,
Most of us end up doing what is expected out of us. Do we feel happy? Most probably yes. We would be often disappointed when the recognition is not meeting our expectation.
Let us compare ourselves with "B". Helping some one else the problem often improves our own skills. There is an old proverb (I do not know the author) "learn to teach and teach to learn". From a company point of view "B" has demonstrated much better skills than "A" since one more task for the company is completed.
"Q" created knowledge base for the team. More often than not, we do the task assigned to us without checking history. Learning from other's mistake is the best way to improve efficiency. This knowledge creation for the team is of immense help. Re-usability reduces cost there by increases productivity of the team. "Q" demonstrated good "team-player" skills,
Now to the outstanding person, "O" made the task irrelevant; he created a Permanent Asset to the team.
If you notice B, Q and O all have demonstrated "team performance" over an above individual performance; also they have demonstrated a very invaluable characteristic known as "INITIATIVE".
Initiative pays of every where whether at work or at personal life. If you put initiative you will succeed. Initiative is a continual process and it never ends. This is because this year's achievement is next year's task. You cannot use the same success story every year.
The story provides an instance of performance, where as measurement needs to be spread across at least 6-12 months. Consequently performance should be consistent and evenly spread.
Out-of-Box thinkers are always premium and that is what every one constantly looks out for. Initiative, Out-of-Box thinking and commitment are the stepping stone to success.
Initiative should be life long. Think out of the box.
Many a times in life we get tasks to be done at home, at office, at play.,
Most of us end up doing what is expected out of us. Do we feel happy? Most probably yes. We would be often disappointed when the recognition is not meeting our expectation.
Let us compare ourselves with "B". Helping some one else the problem often improves our own skills. There is an old proverb (I do not know the author) "learn to teach and teach to learn". From a company point of view "B" has demonstrated much better skills than "A" since one more task for the company is completed.
"Q" created knowledge base for the team. More often than not, we do the task assigned to us without checking history. Learning from other's mistake is the best way to improve efficiency. This knowledge creation for the team is of immense help. Re-usability reduces cost there by increases productivity of the team. "Q" demonstrated good "team-player" skills,
Now to the outstanding person, "O" made the task irrelevant; he created a Permanent Asset to the team.
If you notice B, Q and O all have demonstrated "team performance" over an above individual performance; also they have demonstrated a very invaluable characteristic known as "INITIATIVE".
Initiative pays of every where whether at work or at personal life. If you put initiative you will succeed. Initiative is a continual process and it never ends. This is because this year's achievement is next year's task. You cannot use the same success story every year.
The story provides an instance of performance, where as measurement needs to be spread across at least 6-12 months. Consequently performance should be consistent and evenly spread.
Out-of-Box thinkers are always premium and that is what every one constantly looks out for. Initiative, Out-of-Box thinking and commitment are the stepping stone to success.
Initiative should be life long. Think out of the box.
Friday, October 03, 2008
SOE, SOV & now SOH (Share of Heart)!!!
If the way to a MAN's heart is through his stomach, then this definately has made space...:P
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Education: A guarantee game???

Recently, when i was in Mumbai i came across this bus panel ad of a coaching classes.
I found it very interesting for below reasons:
-> Kickass Insight: Picture this, a kid has fared very bad in an exam, wat will be one of the first dialouges his / her parents wud speak? "if we knew this would be the result, we would have never spent soo much on u!!!, do you know how much do we work hard to get you educated, pay ur expensive fees , blah, blah, blah".
-> Brand Image: Do i need to explain wat amazing brand image this particular classes will create in the mind of a parent whose kid is gonna come in 10th??? For them this will be the only thing goin across their minds while travelling, office, cooking, etc.
U c there are 7 issues i believe when Indian parents feel most important to think for their kids:
1) Who should be ur friends
2) Which school / tuition my kid should go into
3) Ohh my GOD!!! my bachha is in 10th / 12th now!!!
4) Which college will he / she go
5) Have u planned anything? Wat carrer are u goin to opt? Mr. Sharma's son!, look at him he did his CA with coll & now planning for ICWA.!!!!
6) Beta u r getting older now..:(... wat r ur MARRIAGE plans?? do u have anyone in mind?? C v r very open* to it. But only make sure he / she is blah, blah, blah & blah. Rest we have no probs!!! (*Conditions Apply)
7) The last one is the most deadliest!! i.e. COMPARISION.... Look how much ur friends study / learn something from ur elder bro / & many "c i told u" stuffs....
-> Final Outcome: (dont expect anything on our education system sux n all!!! thts needless) Obviously the parents will flock to this coaching class n enroll their kids to get good % & if not; then they get the money back. But, dont u think even if they got that maney back, the reality is that the kids % is screwed up.????
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
When will this offer open???

Jus reminds something by Tagore......
Mind Without Fear
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up
into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason
has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action---
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Fine cut!!!
An amazing piece of sound technology. Put on the headphones n jus enjoy. I believe this can be a future use of sound as a medium to tell a story perhaps!!! (Pls. use headphones n not speakers)
Friday, January 18, 2008
Monday, November 26, 2007
GREEN (Pieces???)
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Wat lies beneath!!????
rip off effect
Indeed!!! Change is good ;)
Its there, now its isnt????
Friday, August 17, 2007
(omnipresence, omnipotent, omniscience) < ME
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Ankesh has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Ankesh.
Ankesh counted to infinity - twice.
When Ankesh does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Ankesh doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Ankesh gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Ankesh can slam a revolving door.
There are no races, only countries of people Ankesh has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Ankesh's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Ankesh can divide by zero.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Ankesh turnaround kick.
When taking the GRE, write "Ankesh" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
Ankesh has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Ankesh grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Ankesh"
Ankesh can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Ankesh doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Ankesh 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Ankesh kicked one of the corners off.
Ankesh once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Ankesh to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Thousands of years ago Ankesh came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.
Ankesh does not sleep. He waits.
Ankesh once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Ankesh does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Ankesh goes killing.
Ankesh' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Ankesh is an excellent chef... He serves only one dish i.e. REVENGE; that also cold...
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Ankesh.
Ankesh puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Ankesh can speak braille.
Ankesh was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Ankesh sleeps with a night light. Not because Ankesh is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Ankesh
If Ankesh is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Ankesh thought up some of the funniest Ankesh facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the blog because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.
If you can see Ankesh, he can see you. If you can't see Ankesh you may be only seconds away from death.
Ankesh frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The chief export of Ankesh is pain.
Ankesh sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Ankesh is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Ankesh doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Ankesh's fist.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Ankesh can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Superman owns a pair of Ankesh pyjamas.
If you try to introduce your mother to Ankesh, she'll introduce you to your biological father.
Ankesh, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Ankesh, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
When Ankesh sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Ankesh has not had to pay taxes ever.
Ankesh died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Ankesh once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
Ankesh does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Ankesh can divide by zero.
Ankesh is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis. Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Ankesh enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Ankesh says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad...Ankesh doesn't believe in magic.
Ankesh once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Ankesh?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
At birth, Ankesh came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Ankesh but Ankesh
Ankesh once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Ankesh.
Ankesh counted to infinity - twice.
When Ankesh does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Ankesh doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Ankesh gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Ankesh can slam a revolving door.
There are no races, only countries of people Ankesh has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Ankesh's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Ankesh can divide by zero.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Ankesh turnaround kick.
When taking the GRE, write "Ankesh" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
Ankesh has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Ankesh grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Ankesh"
Ankesh can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Ankesh doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Ankesh 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Ankesh kicked one of the corners off.
Ankesh once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Ankesh to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Thousands of years ago Ankesh came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.
Ankesh does not sleep. He waits.
Ankesh once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Ankesh does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Ankesh goes killing.
Ankesh' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Ankesh is an excellent chef... He serves only one dish i.e. REVENGE; that also cold...
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Ankesh.
Ankesh puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Ankesh can speak braille.
Ankesh was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Ankesh sleeps with a night light. Not because Ankesh is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Ankesh
If Ankesh is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Ankesh thought up some of the funniest Ankesh facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the blog because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.
If you can see Ankesh, he can see you. If you can't see Ankesh you may be only seconds away from death.
Ankesh frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The chief export of Ankesh is pain.
Ankesh sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Ankesh is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Ankesh doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Ankesh's fist.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Ankesh can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Superman owns a pair of Ankesh pyjamas.
If you try to introduce your mother to Ankesh, she'll introduce you to your biological father.
Ankesh, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Ankesh, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
When Ankesh sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Ankesh has not had to pay taxes ever.
Ankesh died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Ankesh once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
Ankesh does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Ankesh can divide by zero.
Ankesh is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis. Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Ankesh enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Ankesh says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad...Ankesh doesn't believe in magic.
Ankesh once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Ankesh?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
At birth, Ankesh came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Ankesh but Ankesh
Ankesh once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
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