Born in the 1980s, I
have seen best of many different cultural changes. One interesting aspect that
I feel has been changing silently is ‘FRIENDSHIP’.
During the 80s, I was
used to seeing, friends & best
friends. You had the same set of friends
at school, tuition, cricket match, homework, birthday party, etc. In fact, there used to be this thing ‘tu apne
group ka hai, unke saath mat ghum (you are a part of this group, don’t hang
out with others)’.
Slowly came the 90s and with Indian economy opening up, many
minds, pockets & attitudes also started to change. Well, friends were still friends, but one started having Tuition
friends, School friends, friends with the best gadgets, video games, it became
paramount how one shows his/her friendship with innumerable Archie's &
Hallmark cards or cups or teddys…
Then something happened once the Millennium kicked in. The
internet chat cafes took the momentum of friendships to a new level. The 3310s, 3330s, 6600s of Nokia had
penetrated the lives of the young minds, with late night SMSes, MMSes. And as
if this was just the tip of the iceberg the mid era of the millennia bought
ORKUT to the fingertips… Friendship had
now started to grow in the virtual & digital space. The Six degrees of separation
theory was finally taking a concrete shape, but the test of friendship slowly
started to be determined by the number of scraps, testimonials & friends in
the list.
Things started to speed up & bought the new mega machine
of making friends & connecting with them called Facebook. Stories of new
friendships, new connections, puppy love, naughty love & all sorts of
groups popped up. The gifts that friends exchanged earlier got replaced by
watermelons, cows & strawberries on the farm. Facebook started to be like
the hoarding where people began to display their lives, to get much-craved attention, to feel like a celebrity, to show off to their friends &
wanting more. Friendship now was seen with people who react to things in my
life when I put it out to display. A nice picture once uploaded if did not get
likes & comments from the friends was good enough to create a rift but
never show off.
Well, that was sooo 2010, now with half of the decade passing
off, friendships are now defined in new ways and manner. Best Friends are now
BFFs or BAE (short form of BABE, trust me I am not kidding!!!), friends in need
became FWB (friends with benefits) & close friends became FUBUs (fuck
buddies). Snapchats, Tinders, Instagram, FBs of the world are taking
connecting, expressing, sharing & creating memories at a completely new level.
Now that where my theory begins, with the rapid change in
culture & value system we should be ready to the new age of friendship
& that is ‘MUTUALISM’ as in social mutualism. Let’s not be judgmental about
it, but times are changing, behaviors, patterns & our perspective to
feelings are changing. Earlier we just made friends & friendship was all
that mattered & moving forward we shall choose them & all that will
matter would be how can we both be beneficial to each other. It’s not being
mean or selfish but it shall be all about ‘I don’t wanna waste my time &
energy’. That brings us to an interesting question, ‘Friendship is pure feeling
and friends are the relatives that we make on our own then how come it can come
to this?’ well the answer has always been in front of us, the truth is we
needed friends & we will need friends but what will change is the ways
& reasons. Earlier our reach was limited hence we were contented with a
limited group of people we interacted, we were contented with our thoughts
& our perspective, this made us explore more in few set of people and that made us know each other a lot more; whereas in last 30 years, the reach is exponential &
the amount of exposure to different perspectives, likings, idiosyncrasies have
reached beyond borders across the globe. Now we don't invest a lot of time in one person, but we invest time in finding newer ones. Knowing someone just by the surface is more than enough.
To sum up, in few years when you ask the younger lot about
who are they hanging out with their answer shall be, “No one, in particular, he/she & I like a
MUTUAL genre of music so we just jam.”